Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
high people should be assigned attendants
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
