Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So much Jack, so little girl.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
