If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
