Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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