...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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