If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
