He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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