I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
