Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You left your phone here
Wait...
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