i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
