If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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