There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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