i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
