I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
