man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
