This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
