It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
