you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
