I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
