how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
