And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
