She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
