She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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