I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
