i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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