the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
