OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
