"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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