yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
