Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I will pee on everything he values.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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