You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
