i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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