Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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