"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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