i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
