Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
