summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
