That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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