I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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