So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
