now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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