CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize