Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
