it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
