Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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