I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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