I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
