Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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