we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
