I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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