Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize