hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
