Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
