Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
