But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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