its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
