im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
