There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
