all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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