told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
