dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
