I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
