Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We got so high we made milksteak
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
