morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
