I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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