Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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