I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize