____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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