your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is it penis luge time yet?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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