i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
