You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize