dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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