i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
