omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
