I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
