Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
