Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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