sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
