Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
